[stars, stones and spaces]

My life this month has been beautifully wild and unruly. My homes exist in the form of tents and tarps, picnic tables and camp stoves, and a big silver van hauling a trailer full of packs, climbing racks and kayaks. In this month I've gained 20-something adventuring siblings, a fairly distinguishable dry suit tan and a heart full of memories. There have been nights of laying in the grass marvelling at the vast blanket of stars above us. There have been throw bag practises and slack line sessions, all bathed in the warm glow of the lowering sun. And, of course, days when clouds kept out the warmth and pelted us with rain and hail instead. There have been times when I've had body shaking laughter- you know the kind I mean? Complete with a contorted face and tears steaming down it? My ears have been filled with music from the brilliant collections of my classmates, some of it addictive and some of it, (cough* baby monkey riding backwards on a pig*cough), not so desirable. My calloused hands and squished feet have slowly climbed the speckled rock faces of Skaha. My arms and legs have propelled me through the cold waters of the Chiliwack River on a swift water rescue course. And now I'm back in the big silver van. We're driving with a trailer full of kayaks, ready to cross into Washington and throw ourselves into our favourite kind of adventuring. Paddling. Whitewater. Pushing ourselves and learning from the moss bordered rivers on which we travel. I am so thankful for this month- for these friends with fiery souls- and for the stars, stones and spaces that I'm lucky enough to call my classroom.

[the medicine wheel]

We were somewhere on the interstate in North Dakota. Fields stretched out beyond us, quilting the state in corn and hay. The straight, flat expanse of highway had already begun to cast its drowsy spell on us- and, according to Google maps, we still had a hell of a stretch ahead before we’d be in Washington. Like many late August days, the sun was shining in full force. It beat down with such intensity that the car started to feel like a little rolling sauna. I cranked the AC and decided it was about time to take a break from the British yammering of our 28 hour long Harry Potter audio book.

 I forget what I said to trigger this conversation but it started with my best friend Em half yawning and half speaking, “Urs, you’re being so east right now.”

Before that day the Medicine Wheel was a foreign concept to me. A friend of mine had one tattooed on his arm but I’d never really been intrigued enough to ask about its meaning or significance. So, I asked Em to tell me what she knew about the Medicine Wheel. It must have been a few hours before we moved on to a new topic of conversation. I was totally enthralled by it. Perplexed by it. Moved by it. And ever since then it’s been quite a meaningful tool in self -reflection and personal growth.

Originally, the Medicine Wheel was developed amongst First Nations peoples in the US. Nomadic tribes would construct massive stone circles for astronomical, healing, and teaching purposes. They were ceremonial spaces that were made to host rites of passage, seasonal rituals, and generally to celebrate the interconnectedness of life. It’s modern implications are a little different…

Em told me about the wheel- divided into four directions- each direction with a corresponding colour and totem animal. The directions symbolize qualities. Each has its strengths and weaknesses and each is as important to possess as any of the others. The North quarter is white and represented by the buffalo. The South is red and a mouse acts as its totem. The East is yellow and home to the eagle. And finally, the west is black and represented by the black bear.

There are positive and negative qualities associated with each direction and the ultimate goal is to possess the good qualities of each direction in such a way that you are balanced within the circle.

From what I understand, the North is characteristic of strength, perseverance and wisdom. People who are North on the Medicine Wheel tend to be determined and fierce, and sometimes a little stubborn. They are often wise beyond their years. People who are South tend to be very generous and caring. Sometimes they think so much about the people around them that they lose sight of the importance of caring for themselves. They value humility and thoughtfulness but tend to avoid dealing with conflict. People who are West on the wheel know themselves. They are methodical and intuitive. They have systems for doing things and value structure. People of the East are creative and open-minded. Like an eagle soaring high above the land- “Easties” have a gift for seeing the “big picture”.  Because of this grand vision, however, they can sometimes forget the important smaller details in life.

I’m sure there’s a lot more to it- but that’s sort of an overview of what I understand it to mean. It’s helped me a lot to recognize who I am. It’s made me really value my South-East qualities and has also inspired me to work on incorporating the North and West into my life a little more.  

So, something to think about- Where are you on the wheel? Which directions are most prominent in yourself and which could you use more of?

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” -Aristotle

[where I am and how I got here]

I walk over to my window and draw my curtains until they consume the last sliver of autumn light. My mind is a windstorm and each thought is a fallen leaf. I’m reaching out. I’m chasing them.  They graze my finger tips for a moment and then twirl away. Dizzying. I breathe. I breathe slowly until the leaves still and fall to the ground.  

Have you ever had a day like that? A day where, for any number of reasons, your mind just refuses to be silent? The last time I can distinctly remember having one of those days was about a year ago. I was a couple months into my first year of university in Guelph, Ontario. The people around me were lovely, my profs were engaging, my courses were fairly interesting. But I had a very clear feeling from the start that I wasn’t meant to be walking down whatever path I was on at the time.

Alright, I’ll be honest, this may have had something to do with the fact that I chose the University of Guelph based on its campus coffee shop. (You think I’m kidding…) What can I say…there’s something to be said for good ambiance and a decent espresso. So,  yeah…I drank a lot of coffee. I read a lot of books. I watched a lot of Greys Anatomy. I basically became nocturnal. And I tried to piece together where it was I wanted to be in my life and how on earth I was gonna get there.

I was craving adventure and kindred spirits. I wanted mountains to climb and rivers to paddle and an ocean close by. A family friend had told me once about a program called the Adventure Guide Diploma at Thompson Rivers University out in Kamloops, BC. I applied, got in, and moved out to Kamloops from Temagami, Ontario at the end of August.

Anyways, long story short. It was easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It’s an exquisite thing to have moments when you feel like you are exactly where you should be. – and lately, I’ve been having a lot of them.

I’ve always had an interest in writing and photography – so, this blog is a way for me to start sharing little bits and pieces of my thoughts and my adventures.  

 “Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink the wild air.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson